Solitude
There is a solitude of space
A solitude of sea
A solitude of death, but these
Society shall be
Compared with that profounder site
That polar privacy
A soul admitted to itself—
Finite infinity.
~Emily Dickinson 1695
In order to discover our real nature, our true potential, our true heart, becoming comfortable with solitude is an essential aspect of a life of contemplation, prayer and meditation. For any spiritual practice or discipline to go very deep it is essential to accustom oneself gradually to spending more time alone and becoming accustomed to silence: silence of the mind as well as quiet places. Being able to withdraw and unhook from all of the distracting objects of the sense fields allows our energy to concentrate inwards and illuminate the core of our being.
Many people fear being alone, but it is an excellent thing to befriend yourself and come to know yourself both for your own mental health as well as for your personal and spiritual development. If you are not accustomed to much alone time, then it’s best to approach gradually. In approaching solitude or meditation, begin with just a few minutes of quiet time and work up to five or ten minutes consistently, then increase to twenty or thirty mintutes. Eventually forty-five minutes to an hour will come naturally. Activities which can help accustom you to more solitude and space are taking a walk in nature and appreciating the presence of other life forms, trees, plants, animals, weather, sitting quietly and observing natural phenomena like the sunrise or sunset, cloud formations, rainfall. Having a quiet cup of tea, lighting a stick of incense or a candle can help set the mood for alone time. Invoking the presence of the divine or higher power, drawing, painting, poetry, writing, singing are all activities which can help to inhabit the space of solitude. Preparing an area in your home, with a cushion and altar or shrine for sitting can be an invaluable outer support. At some point to really develop, it is good to connect with other contemplatives by attending some kind of group retreat in silence. This will give structure to your time alone so you can become accustomed to the various textures and flavors of solitude. Having a private sacred space or inner sanctum can help to delineate this space in our daily lives, setting aside time and space to connect with our own hearts and spirit. Furnishing the space with colors and things which evoke the presence of the energies your wish to invite, cultivate or connect with can take on ever unfolding new depth and richness over time. Plants, statues, incense burner, art, textiles, sacred texts, meditation seat like a zafu and zabuton, carpet or prayer rug are some common things that are traditionally used. The space can be simple or very elaborate. In asia, many homes have a family shrine enclosed in the center of the house. Many spiritual practitioners create a personal shrine in their home according to their tradition. There are many different aesthetics around the sacred and yours will evolve over time to something that reflects and enhances your inner life. At some point you may even want to take a personal retreat in solitude with a book or a journal, a weekend in a cabin or at the beach alone. It is best to start with just one or two days in the beginning and can be a great joy and very rewarding experience to create this space for yourself to discover a deeper sense of meaningfulness in life and desire to go deeper into life’s unfolding mysteries. In my early thirties in New York City, I was craving silence and decided to attend a weekend silent retreat at an ashram outside the city. I had taken some classes in mediation and had a daily yoga and meditation practice. I relished having a whole weekend in silence and nature outside the busy city, just listening, contemplating, doing yoga and meditation. Over time this evolved into being able to do a week long solitary retreat, then several weeks, then several months and even a year or more. As an artist, I’m someone who works alone much of the time and I’ve also traveled around the world by myself on many occasions, but this is something I’ve accustomed myself to over time and which appeals to my sense of adventure. It’s not for everyone, but the more we empty ourselves into Solitude, the more she fills us with richness.
The real alchemical work is a hermetic work, recovering and uncovering the true gold of our real nature. For this training in advanced spiritual disciplines takes place in a solitary setting of retreat. It is like the little earth bound that enwraps itelf into a cocoon only to emerge fully transformed into a sky going butterfly.